Best Jokes
Favorite this joke I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry...
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
I just NEED to vent, I have had enough!!! I'll never help anyone again...EVER!!! The other day it was so cold out that I took a man into my home out of the kindness of my heart. I felt so sorry for him. Poor thing looked about froze out there in the cold. Couldn't even talk or move.
But the next morning he had just vanished. Not a word, no goodbye or even a thank you for sheltering him! The last straw was when I realized he had peed all over the living room floor. That's the thanks I get for being good to people???
I want to warn my friends to watch out for this man! He is heavy set, wearing nothing but a hat and scarf, he has a nose that looks like a carrot, two black eyes, and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks! Don't bring him into your house!! He will make a huge mess on the floor and then disappear!
A grandpa, who was turning 72, and his granddaughter, who was turning 7, had their birthdays on the same day.
The granddaughter told her grandpa that he was a lot older then her. Being older and wiser he said “No, we are the same age.”
She said, “But grandpa, I am only seven. What number are you?”
He replied, “Yes you are, and I am only seven too!”
If you get motion sickness on a DOWN escalator...
Do you still throw-UP?
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