Best Jokes

$7.00 won 3 votes

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank."

Passenger: :Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."

Cabbie: "There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"

Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”

3 votes

posted by "outward" |
3 votes

An author wrote a novel and sent it off to a publisher. The publisher held on to the hard copy so long, that termites got into it.

In the final analysis, the book was rejected. The story line had too many holes in it.

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
3 votes

I met a Black Jack dealer and asked if she had any advice...

She said, "Yeah, don’t play!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
3 votes

Wife mouse asks husband mouse how he’s able to bring home so much food...

He answered by saying, "I’m a gentleman mouse. I always bring someone with me and when we find food I say, 'you first.'"

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Marty" |