Best Jokes

$15.00 won 3 votes

While perusing a curio shop in Texas, Harold's eye is drawn to the skull of a horse sitting on a high shelf. "Pardon me, but what's this?' he asks the shops keeper.

"That," the shop keeper replies. "Is the actual skull of Trigger, the horse belonging to legendary Wild West hero Roy Rogers."

"How much is it?" Harold asks.

"This little gem is $3,000."

Harold hadn't wished to spend quite that much, so he asks the shop keeper if she had anything cheaper, upon which she reaches under the counter and takes out a smaller horse skull. "This is only $500."

"Well, that sounds like a good deal," Harold replies. "Whose skull is it?"

"It's Trigger's skull from when he was just a colt."

3 votes

posted by "Kathy Harrington" |
$50.00 won 3 votes

"Madam, your husband must have absolute rest."

"Well, Doctor, he won't listen to me."

"A very good beginning, madam, a very good beginning."

3 votes

3 votes

What did the former boxer-turned-barista ask his patrons?

"Ya want one lump or two???"

3 votes

posted by "Wano U" |
$5.00 won 3 votes

A quiet little man was brought before a judge. The judge looked down at the man and then at the charges and then down at the little man in amazement.

"Can you tell me in your own words what happened?" he asked the little man.

"I'm a mathematician dealing in the nature of proof," said the little man.

"Yes, go on," said the astounded judge.

"Well. I was at the library and I found the books I wanted and went to take them out. They told me my library card had expired and I had to get a new one. I went to the registration office and got in another line. I filled out my forms for another card. I got back in line for my card."

"And?" said the judge.

"And the clerk asked me, 'Can you prove you're from New York City?'"

"What happened next?" the judge asked.

"I punched him."

3 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |