"Wise men are always in doubt. Only idiots are sure of their case."
"Are you sure of that?"
"Yes, absolutely."
A tourist was driving on a back road in Arkansas during a heavy rainstorm. He passed a cabin with a man sitting on the porch playing his fiddle.
"Why don't you go inside on this rainy day?" the tourist asked.
"Because the roof leaks," answered the fiddler.
"Well, then, why don't you fix the roof?"
"Can't fix a roof when it's raining," the fiddler answered.
"So, why don't you fix the roof on a sunny day?"
"'Cause the roof don't leak on sunny days!" replied the fiddler.
What do you see when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?
U.C.L.A...
Mrs. Smith: My husband's face fell a mile when he first saw the Grand Canyon.
Mrs. Jones: Was he that disappointed?
Mrs. Smith: No, he fell into the canyon.