A wife was a little guilty that her husband wasn’t very happy because she didn’t like to do anything and didn’t want to ever leave the house. With this in mind, while eating an apple, the wife suggested he seek out a Psychic to help him find fun.

Seeing him happy again a few weeks later she asked if her suggestion helped him at all. Her husband told her that her suggestion to seek out a “Side Chick” was very good!

Girlfriend: “Let’s go to Utah!”

Boyfriend: “Why Utah?”

Girlfriend: Because I’m Short and Utah!”

Doctor (complacently): "You cough more easily this morning."

Patient (querulously): "I should, I've been practicing all night."

An American who saw the volcano Mount Vesuvius erupt, was told by a native of the town that the United States had nothing to compare with it.

The American simply said, "I should say not. However, Niagara Falls would put that thing out in less than two minutes."