Doctor: "My dear sir, it's a good thing you came to me when you did."

Patient: "Why, Doc, are you broke?"

Doctor: "Would you have the money if I said you needed an operation?"

Patient: "Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn't have the money?"

Patient: "Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up... something to get me fired up and put me in a fighting mood. Did you put anything like that in this prescription?"

Doctor: "No, not in the prescription. You'll find that in the bill."