Him: "Your little brother just saw me kiss you. What can I give him to keep him from telling your parents?

Her: "He generally gets 5 dollars."

Jack had a oral hygiene problem for years but all of his friends were afraid to tell him because it would probably hurt his feelings they thought.

One day in our science class, we were paired together. Our station was missing it's microscope so Jack asked me to get one from elsewhere that was not being used. I came back to the our work station and handed him a .5 ounce bottle of mouthwash.

"What is this?" Jack asked. "I asked for a Microscope."

I replied, "I didn't give you what you wanted, but I gave you what everybody knows you need. A small bottle of Scope mouthwash. So I gave you a micro 'Scope'."

A young city girl was vacationing in the country and became friendly with a farmer boy. One evening as they were strolling across a pasture they saw a cow and calf rubbing noses in the accepted bovine fashion.

"Ah," said the farmer boy, "that sight makes me want to do the same."

"Well, go ahead," said the girl, "it's your cow."