"Doctor," said the sick man, "the other doctors seem to differ from you in their diagnosis of my case."

"I know," replied the physician cheerfully, "but the post-mortem will show that I am right."

With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports tv outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championship…

It’s on Paperview!

The manager of a touring theatrical company emailed the owner of the theater in a small town where his company was due to appear.

"Would like to hold rehearsal next Monday afternoon at three. Have your stage manager, carpenter, property man, electrician, and all stage hands present at that hour."

A few seconds later he received the following reply: "All right. He'll be there."

"It takes Bill a day and a night to tell a story."

"He'd make a good bookkeeper, I should think."

"Why do you say that?"

"He's never short on his accounts."