Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Little Johnny: "Mom, Dad just backed out of the garage and ran over my bicycle!"
Mom: "Maybe in the future you shouldn't leave it on the front lawn."
Joe: "Say Moe, I'll bet you $10 that I can prove to you that I'm not actually here."
Moe: "Not actually here? That makes no sense."
Joe: "Well then, I'll prove it. Am I in Chicago?"
Moe: "No."
Joe: "Am I in New York?"
Moe: "No."
Joe: "Am I in Hawaii?"
Moe: "No."
Joe: "If I'm not in any of those places, I must be somewhere else, and if I'm somewhere else, then I'm not here. I'll take my $10 now, please."
Moe: "How can I pay you if you're not here?"
Three new recruits were being tested looking at a mug shot. The instructor asks the first recruit what he noticed. The recruit responded, "He had only one eye."
The instructor reminded the recruit that this was a side profile shot. He then asks recruit #2. Recruit #2 indicated that he had only one ear.
Frustrated the inspector goes to recruit #3, who replied that the guy in the mug shot was wearing contact lenses.
The inspector checked his notes and noticed the guy in the mug shot wore contact lens. "How did you know that?" he ask recruit #3.
"Well, he had to be wearing contact lens. There was no way that a guy with one eye and one ear could wear glasses."
Robin: “The Batmobile isn’t starting!”
Batman: “Did you charge the battery?”
Robin: “What the hell is a tery?”
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