Three new recruits were being tested looking at a mug shot. The instructor asks the first recruit what he noticed. The recruit responded, "He had only one eye."
The instructor reminded the recruit that this was a side profile shot. He then asks recruit #2. Recruit #2 indicated that he had only one ear.
Frustrated the inspector goes to recruit #3, who replied that the guy in the mug shot was wearing contact lenses.
The inspector checked his notes and noticed the guy in the mug shot wore contact lens. "How did you know that?" he ask recruit #3.
"Well, he had to be wearing contact lens. There was no way that a guy with one eye and one ear could wear glasses."
A statistics major was completely hung over the day of his final exam. It was a True/False test, so he decided to flip a coin for the answers. The stats professor watched the student the entire two hours as he was flipping the coin... writing the answer... flipping the coin... writing the answer.
At the end of the two hours, everyone else had left the final except for the one student. The professor walks up to his desk and interrupts the student, saying: "Listen, I have seen that you did not study for this statistics test, you didn't even open the exam. If you are just flipping a coin for your answer, what is taking you so long?"
The student replies bitterly, as he is still flipping the coin: "Shhh! I am checking my answers!"
A small boy in a farming town was leading a donkey passed by an army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the boy.
"What are you holding on to your brother so tight for?"
"So he won't join the army," the youngster replied with blinking an eye.