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Favorite this joke In this fast-paced, modern world, it only takes a fraction of the time it used to for a luxury to become a necessity.
However, when you find yourself convinced that the world is moving too fast, just find a bank or supermarket line to reassure yourself.
Famed composer Johann Strauss was an avid mountain climber who once waltzed himself into deep trouble. He lost his footing and found himself hanging by his fingertips over a bottomless gorge.
Another climber heroically came to his rescue and just managed to grab Johann by a strap of his backpack to save the Maestro's life.
Since then, the act of trying to get out of a seemingly hopeless situation has come to be known as grasping at Strauss.
I grilled a chicken for two hours...
It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where in tarnation have you been all night?" she demands.
"At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - heck, even the urinal's gold!"
The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story.
"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
"Yes it is," bartender answers.
"Do you have huge golden doors?"
"Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?"
"Most certainly do."
"What about golden urinals?"
There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that peed in your saxophone last night!"
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