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Favorite this joke A hypothetical situation where 20 CEO's board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature Pilot less technology: It is an un-crewed aircraft.
Each one of the CEO's is then told, privately, that their company's software is Aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEO's promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.
One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed, asked why he is so confident in this first un-crewed flight, he replies "If it is the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off."
This is Confidence!
"I want to divorce my wife."
"On what grounds?"
"She is out all night, every night, going from bar to bar."
"Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?"
"No, she is looking for me."
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her.
She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!"
"Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested.
"Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?"
"Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples and a vase."
Q: What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A: His transparents.
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