Best Jokes

$7.00 won 3 votes

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims to the whole table, "What rotten luck I've had today! What in the world should I do now?"

A man standing next to her suggests, "I don't know, why don't you play your age?"

He walks away, but moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"

The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 36, and when 47 came up she just fainted!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "outward" |
3 votes

I don't always ride in passenger jets but when I do I buy a first class ticket...

The thing is, flying scares me but in first class they hand out free "bravery beverages"!

3 votes

CATEGORY Airplane Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
3 votes

A hypothetical situation where 20 CEO's board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature Pilot less technology: It is an un-crewed aircraft.

Each one of the CEO's is then told, privately, that their company's software is Aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEO's promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.

One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed, asked why he is so confident in this first un-crewed flight, he replies "If it is the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off."

This is Confidence!

3 votes

CATEGORY Airplane Jokes
posted by "indianyogi" |
$8.00 won 3 votes

"I want to divorce my wife."

"On what grounds?"

"She is out all night, every night, going from bar to bar."

"Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?"

"No, she is looking for me."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Adie Peter" |