Best Jokes

$12.00 won 3 votes

The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count to fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important.

Next day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly.

Suddenly the whole class shouted: "Ninety eight, ninety-nine, one hundred... Your coat's on fire, sir!"

3 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

Salesman: "Madam, do you want this powder?"

Housewife: "For what?"

Salesman: "For ants."

Housewife: "No. If I give powder today, they will ask for lipstick tomorrow."

3 votes

posted by "Raac" |
3 votes

I like nice long walks...

Especially when taken by people who annoy me.

3 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes

There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig.

The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!"

The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |