After Sunday mass, I wished aloud a blessed afternoon for our priest. "Enjoy your time with the angels!"
"Oh, no," he said. "I'm a Dodgers fan!"
A man was determined to win the state lotto. He bought lotto tickets every week for years with no results. Then, one day in a flash of inspiration he realized that he would have to change his name in order to win the lotto. The next day he when to the courthouse and officially changed his name to 'Somebody'.
Out of curiosity the clerk who was doing the paperwork asked why he had chosen 'Somebody' as his new name.
"Well," he replied, "I wasn't having any luck with my old name, but everyone knows that eventually, Somebody always wins the lotto!"
A young girl of 4 was told she needed an X-ray after an accident. Her mother tried to calm her down, but she was still nervous when the time came for the X-Ray. When she came out of the X-ray room, however, she seemed relaxed and just fine.
"They took a picture of my bones," she told her mother.
"Yes, dear," replied the mother. "Did everything go all right?"
"Yeah," said the girl. "It was great! I didn't even have to take my skin off, or anything!"
Whenever asked, "How are you doing?"....
the gentleman, who was born in 1947, responds, "Pretty darn good, considering 72 years ago I couldn't walk."