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Favorite this joke A baseball manager who had an ulcer went to see his doctor for a checkup.
"Remember," the doctor said, "don't get excited, don't get mad, and forget about baseball when you're off the field."
Then he added, "By the way, how come you let the pitcher bat yesterday with the tying run on second and two men out in the ninth?"
It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss called me over and asked if I would mind dropping off someone's laundry on my way home. "It's for my cousin," she said, "who is eight months pregnant and can't get out much anymore."
I cheerfully agreed and, driving to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the sister-to-be, answered.
"Hi, there," I said with a big smile. "Is your mommy home?" Holding up the white bundle of clothes, I explained, "I have a delivery for her."
The child's mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. "Mom!" she shrieked, "come quick! It's the stork!"
I once ate a dictionary...
Never again, I ended up with thesaurus throat I've ever had!
A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day.
His wife thought about this for a while.
She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
Her husband looked stunned. He said, "What?"
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