Best Jokes

3 votes

(German Sheppard parents to their puppy named Max) Max you'll need to keep your nose to the grindstone and become a working dog if you want to have a bright future.

(Max the puppy) But my friend has kept his nose to the grindstone and he doesn’t have a job.

(Mother replies) Not really Max, your friend Arf Arf is just a Pug.

3 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

Why doesn't Lebron James like Indian food?

Because it has "Curry" in it.

3 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "Robert Hill" |
3 votes

Two men were having a conservation about their grandfathers.

One man says, "I was very upset when my grandpa died."

The other man asks him, "How'd he die?"

The first man responds by saying, "World War II."

The other man questions him further. "Died in battle?"

"No he was skiing in Vermont. It was just during World War II."

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Tnevs" |
3 votes

A priest, a Southern Baptist preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that WE don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the REST of the day praising JESUS!"

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

3 votes

posted by "outward" |