I just got my boyfriend a 'get better soon' card.
He isn't sick, I just think he can get better.
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.
"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
"You're under 21," replies the barman.
During a recent visit to Pakistan, I was invited by a village chief, an old family friend, to his ancestral home. After a sumptuous dinner, we sprawled on a thick, soft carpet with huge pillows for the backrest in the lounge.
A domestic server brought two hookahs, placed them at a far end of the room and lit the tobacco in the bowls of the hookahs. Their long pliable tubes, carrying the smoke that passed through water, reached us to inhale.
I was wondering as to why the hookahs were placed at such a long distance from us. Seeing me amazed, the host pointed out, “We should remain as far away as possible from tobacco!”
Teacher: "Make a sentence that starts with 'I'."
Bobby: "I is..."
Teacher: "No, Bobby. You should say 'I am', never 'I is'."
Bobby: "Okay. I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."