Best Jokes

A man weaving up to a local bar orders a whiskey. The bartender Joe, noticing the condition of Tony, says, "I can't serve you Tony, you have had too much to drink."

Tony walks around the block and comes in the side door and orders a whiskey. Joe again says, "You have had too much already. I can't serve you."

Tony walks the block again and comes in the back door and orders a whiskey and before Joe has a chance to refuse him the drink, Tony says, "Hey Joe! How many places do you work at?"

To the person who stole my glasses...

I will find you, I have contacts!

I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target and...

Long story short, I'm covering for Debbie this weekend.

When my wife was in labor, I would tell her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused.

It must have been the delivery.