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Favorite this joke While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, whose hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to one of the political candidates.
The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, that candidate is a 'Post Turtle'."
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'."
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain.
"You know they didn't get up there by themselves, they don't belong up there, they don't know what to do while they're up there, and you just wonder what kind of dummy put them up there to begin with."
“Daddy, I inherited my intelligence from you, didn’t I?”
“That’s right my clever girl!”
“That makes sense, because mommy still has hers.”
Mahendra was in the hospital after hurting his head. His friend, Roshan came to meet him.
Roshan: How did you hurt your head?
Mahendra: I was using a stick to break a rock. A passerby told me to use my head!
Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic. So, Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches.
The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away. So it takes the turtles take 10 whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive, everyone's super tired. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the sodas and says, "Alright, Steve, gimme the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring the bottle opener", Steve says. "I thought you packed it."
Joe gets worried. He turns to Poncho, "Poncho, do you have the bottle opener?"
Naturally, Poncho doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck ten miles away from home without soda.
Joe and Steve beg Poncho to turn back home and retrieve it, but Poncho flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back. Somehow, after about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Poncho to go, swearing on their great-grand turtles' graves that they won't touch the food.
So, Poncho sets off down the road, slow and steadily. Twenty days pass, but no Poncho. Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise.
Another day passes, and still no Poncho, but a promise is a promise. After three more days pass without Poncho in sight, Steve starts getting restless.
"I NEED FOOD!" he says with a hint of panic in his voice.
"NO!" Joe retorts. "We promised."
Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Poncho probably skipped out to the Burger King down the road, so the two turtles weakly lift the lid, pulling out a sandwich, and open their mouths about to eat. But then, right at that instant, Poncho pops out behind a rock, and says, "Just for that, I'm not going!"
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