Best Jokes

"Nice threads, man," commented Donald when his buddy showed up one day in a snappy new suit. "Where'd you pick 'em up?"

Richard beamed. "My wife got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?"

"I'll say. What was the occasion?"

"Got me," admitted Richard with a cheerful shrug. "I came home from work early the other day and there they were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom."

A newly married couple was having breakfast at their new apartment when the next door neighbor hung out laundry that appeared to still be dirty.

The new wife commented to her husband that their neighbor did not how to properly do laundry, how to put in correct amount of bleach. detergent, etc. She made this comment every Monday for the next month. Finally, one day, the neighbor's wash appeared to be perfectly clean. The new wife commented on this and said the whole load looked really good.

The husband then replied, "Honey, I got up early today and washed our windows."

It seems that the older we are the more we read the Bible...

Are we cramming for finals?

An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.

The concierge tells him he's in luck, there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.

The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What on earth did you put on this pizza?"

The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."