A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.
As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lying here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
I opened my birthday card and loads of rice fell out.
I knew right away who sent it...
It was my Uncle Ben.
At the company water cooler, a man bragged about his children and their world travels. He said,
"One son is teaching in Bolivia, another is working in southern Italy, and my daughter is completing a year-long research project in India."
One of the co-worker's quipped, "Wow... what is it about you that makes your kids want to get so far away?"
Mary had a little lamb...
And two nurses who passed out in the delivery room.