Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A lion was stalking through the jungle one day when he came across a bull. The lion and the bull got into a tremendous battle, but in the end the lion killed the bull and ate him up. The lion was so pleased with himself that he threw back his head and roared and roared. The noise attracted a hunter who followed the sound until he found the lion. The hunter took aim and killed the lion with a single shot.
Moral: When you are full of bull, it’s wise to keep your mouth shut.
Did anyone see the joke I posted recently about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress.
The day she tried it on for the first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Mother's eyes welled with tears. I put my arm around her.
"You're not losing a daughter," I reminded her in time-honored fashion. "You're gaining a son."
"Oh, forget about that!" she said with a sob. "I used to fit into that dress!"
Working in an ophthalmology practice that specializes in LASIK surgery, I am expected to comfort nervous patients. But prior to one operation, the patient was so nervous she was actually shaking.
Nothing I said to her would comfort her so after the doctor finished on the first eye and before he began on the second I wanted her to know the surgery was going well.
"There," I said, patting her hand reassuringly, "now you only have one eye left."
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