ELECTION Profile

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ELECTION

User Details

Member Since : Oct, 2020
# of jokes posted : 36
# of followers : 0
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 2
Location: United States
won: $ 75.00
$7.00 won 5 votes

I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist...

I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.

5 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "ELECTION " |
5 votes

Interviewer: "Your resume says you take things too literally."

Me: “When the hell did my resume learn to talk?”

5 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "ELECTION " |
$9.00 won 6 votes
 

A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and stammering.

The interviewer said, "Although you have a lot of the qualities we're looking for, the fact that you keep winking and stammering disqualifies you."

"Oh, that's no problem," said the man. "If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and stammering for an hour."

"Show me," said the interviewer.

So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out a variety of condoms before he found the packet of aspirin. He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking.

The interviewer said, "That's amazing, but I don't think we could employ someone who'd be womanizing all over the country."

"Excuse me!" exclaimed the man. "I'm a happily married man, not a womanizer!"

"Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?" asked the interviewer.

The man replied, "Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, stammering and winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin?"

6 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "ELECTION " |
$15.00 won 8 votes

Classmates at college were lamenting the cost of long distance phone service and debating the relative advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint.

"I've found CTC to be the cheapest plan around," offered one.

"CTC? Who are they?"

"You know," he responded. "Call Them Collect."

8 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "ELECTION " |