Best Jokes

Theater Manager: "Your second act was magnificent, Miss De Fleur! Your suffering was almost real."

Miss De Fleur: "It was, I've got a nail in my shoe."

Theater Manager: "Well, for heaven's sake leave it in until the third and final act is complete."

I went bald early in life...

I have a comb...

I just can’t part with it.

"Why is your book so old?"

"What do you expect, it's my history book!"

Wife: I hate that beggar.

Husband: Why?

Wife: That rascal, yesterday I gave him food and today he gave me a Cookbook!