Best Jokes

During the spelling period the teacher asked the class: "Will anyone volunteer to spell matrimony?"

Little Johnny, being sort of a precocious young boy, stood up and promptly spelled matrimony.

"Now define it," said the teacher.

Little Johnny replied, "Well, I don't exactly know what it means, but my Aunt Mary says she's had enough of it."

Theater Manager: "Your second act was magnificent, Miss De Fleur! Your suffering was almost real."

Miss De Fleur: "It was, I've got a nail in my shoe."

Theater Manager: "Well, for heaven's sake leave it in until the third and final act is complete."

I went bald early in life...

I have a comb...

I just can’t part with it.

"Why is your book so old?"

"What do you expect, it's my history book!"