Best Jokes

A cop pulls over a lady for speeding and gives her a ticket saying, "That's $150 and two points."

"Two points? What do I do with the points?" she asks.

"Well," says the cop, "when you get twelve, you get a bike!"

A public speaker could not believe his eyes when he saw just one man among the audience.

Nevertheless, he decided to go ahead with his speech. He asked him the reason for coming attending his speech.

The man replied, “It’s a hot day out there. The air conditioning is pretty good in here.”

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky!"

The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls, "And get me another whisky!"

Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such treatment, the man tries the parrots approach, "I've asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it now!"

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"