Best Jokes

Have a fisherman friend that is always exaggerating the size of the CATFISH he catches. I ask him what was the size of his latest catch.

He replied, "Five inches!"

"Five inches?" I asked. "Five inches is not a very large catfish."

"You didn't let me finish," he began, "five inches between the eyes!"

Parallel lines have so much in common...

It's a shame they will never meet.

What do you call a person that is Happy on Monday?

RETIRED!

Yesterday I saw my neighbor kicking in his own door...

Turns out he's a burglar who started working from home.