Yo momma's glasses are so thick...
When she looks at a map she sees people waving.
Michigan Lawyer: "Well Barney, so you want me to defend you? Have you got any money?"
Barney: "No sir. I ain't got no money, but I do get a 1928 Ford Car!"
Lawyer: "Well you can raise money on that. Now let's see, just what do they accuse you of stealing?"
Barney: "A 1928 Ford Car."
I hate it when I'm singing a song and THE ARTIST gets the words wrong.
Boss: Experts say that humor on the job relieves tension in this time of downsizing. Knock, knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.