Dear Alcohol,
We had a deal... you would make me prettier, funnier and a better dancer. I just saw the video of the company Christmas party.
WE NEED TO TALK!
Around 3pm every afternoon, I think it's time to put an "OUT OF ORDER" sign on my forehead and call it a day.
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, ''When did you bag him?''
The host said, ''That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.''
''What's he stuffed with?'' asked the visiting hunter.
“My wife!”
An elderly woman walks into the butcher shop and shouts at the butcher, "That leg of lamb you sold me last week shrunk by six inches when I cooked it!"
"That's funny," said the butcher, "my wife knitted me a jumper, and when I washed it, it shrunk by six inches."
"Must have been from the same sheep."