I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer came across as an intimidating showman.
After several questions, he asked, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?"
There was an awkward silence. All of a sudden you heard, "I do."
The lawyer looks around the courtroom, and then turns to the judge. "Your Honour, I wasn't asking you, I was asking the jurors."
It was the first day of school, after summer vacations and time for me to pick up the children in my school bus and take them home again. After I had made the complete run that afternoon, one little boy remained on the bus.
Thinking he had simply missed his stop, I started driving slowly back through the neighborhood and asked him to be sure to let me know if any of the houses or people looked familiar. The boy sat in his seat contentedly and shook his head whenever I asked him if he recognized a person or place.
After the second unsuccessful tour of the area, I started back to the school to ask for his address. When we arrived, the child got off the bus and started walking away. "Wait!" I called. "We have to go inside and find out where you live."
"I live right there," he said, pointing to a house across the street. "I just always wanted to ride in a school bus."
Before celebrating a baptism, the deacon approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you sure you’re prepared for it?”
“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for our guests.”
“I don’t mean that,” the deacon replied. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”
“Oh sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."