Best Jokes

$6.00 won 3 votes

After returning from a trip overseas, my luggage did not show up in the airport baggage area. Being a frequent flyer I knew the drill and went to the lost luggage office.

I told the woman there that my bags hadn't shown up on the carousel. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and that I was in good hands.

"Now," she asked, "has your plane arrived yet?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Airplane Jokes
posted by "Egbert" |
3 votes

A guy gets bitten by a zombie but he hasn't completely turned yet. The end of his finger fell off so he handed it to a non-infected man saying, "This can happen to you, now run!"

Before running, the appreciative man looks back and says, "Thanks for the tip!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
3 votes

My wife keeps reminding me about some things that need repair around the house. One would think that after six months she’d know I have the list memorized.

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
3 votes

I told my wife I wished she’d come with directions. She said this is a first, as I’ve never heard you ask for directions before.

She also said not to worry that she "did" come with directions and has been giving them to me since the day we met.

3 votes

posted by "Marty" |