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Favorite this joke The previous pastor had been a paragon of virtue. He lived up to all the people's expectations and was willing to live on a very low salary to boot. He loved to work around the church and kept both the church house and grounds in pristine condition.
But the new pastor wasn't that type. He hired someone to do a lot of these chores, including the mowing of the lawn. Naturally this cost more money. This change of pattern was of concern to some of the elders of the church. One day, one of them approached the new pastor and tried to bring this up tactfully. He said to the new pastor, "You know, our previous pastor mowed the lawn himself. Have you considered this approach?"
The new pastor came back, "Yes, I'm aware of this. I asked him, but he doesn't want to do it anymore."
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when the wife is pregnant,
Tension is when the girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when BOTH are pregnant!
A man waiting for a bus held his hands about four inches apart. He got on the bus l, and when the driver asked for his fare, the man told him to take the money out of his coat pocket. The driver did as he said and drove on.
The man walked to the rear of the bus and sat down, still holding his hands in the same position. A woman passenger turned to him and asked, “Excuse me sir, are you alright?”
“Yes I am, thank you,” he replied.
“Then why are you holding your hands like that?”
“Because I’m on my way to a hardware store and I need a piece of pipe this long.”
Yo momma's glasses are so thick...
When she looks at a map she sees people waving.
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