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Favorite this joke A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, "Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first."
The attorney said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right."
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The attorney replied, "The pictures are of you with your secretary."
As I was admitted the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist, saying, "I'm going to give you a bracelet."
"Has it got rubies and diamonds?" I ask coyly.
"No," he said. "But it cost just as much."
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
My aunt and her 7 year-old daughter, Lisa, were talking at breakfast one morning when Lisa said, "Mommy, how come you have these gray hairs coming in on the top of your head?"
My Aunt replied, "Well sweetie, every time that you make mommy worry or tell a lie, I get a new gray hair."
Lisa, having this perplexed look on her face, then raises her head to look my aunt straight in the eyes. She then asks, "Is that why grandma is all gray mommy?"
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