Best Jokes

3 votes

I wonder why scissors comes in packages that you need them to open them?

3 votes

posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

A woman arrives at the and meets Saint Peter. She says, "I was supposed to look up my husband when I got here."

Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?"

She answers, "Smith."

Saint Peter replies, "I've got hundreds of thousands of Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"

She responds, "His name is John Smith."

Saint Peter says, "I got thousands of John Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"

She answers, "He's got red hair."

Saint Peter replies, "I have hundreds of red haired John Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"

She responds, "Well, he told me to always remain faithful to his memory, or else he'd roll over in his grave!"

Saint Peter says, "Oh, you mean Pinwheel Smith!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
3 votes

The previous pastor had been a paragon of virtue. He lived up to all the people's expectations and was willing to live on a very low salary to boot. He loved to work around the church and kept both the church house and grounds in pristine condition.

But the new pastor wasn't that type. He hired someone to do a lot of these chores, including the mowing of the lawn. Naturally this cost more money. This change of pattern was of concern to some of the elders of the church. One day, one of them approached the new pastor and tried to bring this up tactfully. He said to the new pastor, "You know, our previous pastor mowed the lawn himself. Have you considered this approach?"

The new pastor came back, "Yes, I'm aware of this. I asked him, but he doesn't want to do it anymore."

3 votes

posted by "graeegrace" |
3 votes

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when the wife is pregnant,

Tension is when the girlfriend is pregnant.

Panic is when BOTH are pregnant!

3 votes

posted by "Victoria" |