What is the sole purpose of a middle name?
So a child can tell when they're really in trouble!
A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem. The doctor asks "How often?" and the man replies 10 to 15 times an hour.
The doctor goes to his back office and returns with a pole with an iron hook. The man screams, "What are going to do with that Doc?"
The doctor replies, "I'm going to open some windows."
I wonder why scissors comes in packages that you need them to open them?
A woman arrives at the and meets Saint Peter. She says, "I was supposed to look up my husband when I got here."
Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?"
She answers, "Smith."
Saint Peter replies, "I've got hundreds of thousands of Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"
She responds, "His name is John Smith."
Saint Peter says, "I got thousands of John Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"
She answers, "He's got red hair."
Saint Peter replies, "I have hundreds of red haired John Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"
She responds, "Well, he told me to always remain faithful to his memory, or else he'd roll over in his grave!"
Saint Peter says, "Oh, you mean Pinwheel Smith!"