A man named Benny meets a genie who grants him three wishes. Benny wishes for a fine house, a beautiful wife, and a million dollars.
The genie grants his wishes, but warns him that can never shave his beard, or he will be turned into an urn. Benny enjoys his life for many years, but his lovely wife doesn't like his beard and asks him to shave it off. Though afraid of the genie's prophesy, Benny shaves his beard, and is immediately turned into an urn.
THE MORAL: A BENNY SHAVED IS A BENNY URNED!
Boss: Congratulations! I'm promoting you to manage our Montreal office!
Young man (disappointed): But sir! There's nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.
Boss (now insulted): I'll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!
Young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on?
A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem. The doctor asks "How often?" and the man replies 10 to 15 times an hour.
The doctor goes to his back office and returns with a pole with an iron hook. The man screams, "What are going to do with that Doc?"
The doctor replies, "I'm going to open some windows."