Best Jokes

$10.00 won 3 votes

I've been in love with a woman for seventeen years...

My wife would kill me if she ever found out!

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Tnevs" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

You 'put your two cents in'...

But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'...

What's the deal, where's that extra penny going to?

3 votes

CATEGORY Money Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes

Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to boil the sauce again.

That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out?"

3 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
3 votes

A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord.

Nothing happens.

He tries again. Still nothing.

He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens.

He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going up!

Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits--yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"

The other guy yells back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Airplane Jokes
posted by "Tomaso" |