He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years, having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, they had a wonderful evening, both of them throwing admiring glances across the table. Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes, yes I will!"
The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say "Yes" or did she say "No"? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear he picked up the phone and called her. "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
She replied, "Why you silly man, I said 'Yes, yes I will!' And I am so glad you called, because I couldn't remember who asked me!"
(Grand Kids) Hey grandpa, I thought we were going camping! This is a three star hotel!
(Grand Mother responds) Trust me kids, anything under four stars feels like camping.
(Husband) Hey Peaches!
(Wife) Yes chubby cheeks!
(Husband) Please don't call me chubby cheeks!
(Wife) OK, please don't call me peaches!
(Husband) Fine if you promise not to call me chubby cheeks! I'm putting the move on here, are you about ready plum cakes?
(Wife) I'LL BE RIGHT THERE LOBSTER CLAWS!!!
A gecko was talking a stroll in the park and came upon a duck. He said, "Hi duck, what do you do for a living?"
The duck replied, "I sell gap insurance so if you’re out of work you still have money coming in." The duck then asked how the gecko made a living.
The gecko said, "I also sell insurance but I sell every kind of insurance you can imagine! I sell house, car, life…"
Before he could finish the duck ate the gecko! The duck said, "Well, at least he had good coverage!"