Best Jokes

3 votes

When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress.

The day she tried it on for the first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Mother's eyes welled with tears. I put my arm around her.

"You're not losing a daughter," I reminded her in time-honored fashion. "You're gaining a son."

"Oh, forget about that!" she said with a sob. "I used to fit into that dress!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "ELECTION " |
3 votes
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"Nice threads, man," commented Donald when his buddy showed up one day in a snappy new suit. "Where'd you pick 'em up?"

Richard beamed. "My wife got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?"

"I'll say. What was the occasion?"

"Got me," admitted Richard with a cheerful shrug. "I came home from work early the other day and there they were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
3 votes

"That guy was so happy that it's St Patrick's day, that he was literally bouncing off the walls!"

"Who was it?"

"Rick O'Shea."

3 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "Don in B'ville" |
3 votes
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A newly married couple was having breakfast at their new apartment when the next door neighbor hung out laundry that appeared to still be dirty.

The new wife commented to her husband that their neighbor did not how to properly do laundry, how to put in correct amount of bleach. detergent, etc. She made this comment every Monday for the next month. Finally, one day, the neighbor's wash appeared to be perfectly clean. The new wife commented on this and said the whole load looked really good.

The husband then replied, "Honey, I got up early today and washed our windows."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "barber7796" |