Best Jokes

$7.00 won 3 votes

A young man is reported to have approached the renowned composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (one of the great musical prodigies of all time), and asked, "Herr Mozart, I have the ambition to write symphonies and perhaps you can advise me how to get started."

Mozart said, "The best advice I can give you is to wait until you are older and more experienced, and try your hand at less ambitious pieces to begin with."

The young man looked astonished. "But, Herr Mozart, you yourself wrote symphonies when you were considerably younger than I."

"Ah," said Mozart, "but I did so without asking advice."

3 votes

CATEGORY Musician Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes

I was enjoying the second week of a two-week vacation the same way I had enjoyed the first week: by doing as little as possible.

I ignored my wife's not-so-subtle hints about completing certain jobs around the house, but I didn't realize how much this bothered her until the clothes dryer refused to work, the iron shorted, and the sewing machine motor burned out in the middle of a seam. The final straw came when she plugged in the vacuum cleaner and nothing happened.

She looked so stricken that I had to offer some consolation. "That's okay, honey," I said, "you still have me."

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "Yes," she wailed, "but you don't work either!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes

Newlywed Husband: "Are we still planning on having children, dear?"

Newlywed Wife: "Well, considering how many times I've dropped my iPhone in the past, I really think that we should hold off on this whole baby thing for awhile."

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Michael Stephen Douglas" |
$6.00 won 3 votes

What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?

"Aye, Matey!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "wadejagz" |