Best Jokes

I was getting into my car when I noticed a dent. On the windshield was a note and a phone number from the driver. "I feel terrible," the woman apologized when I called. "I hit your car as I was pulling into the next parking spot."

"Please, don't worry," I said to her. "I'm sure our insurance companies will take care of everything."

"Thank you for your understanding," she said. "You're so much nicer than the man I hit on the way out."

What's the difference between a vision and a sight?

When my wife gets dressed up for a party she looks like a vision and when she wakes up in the morning she's a sight!

All my life I thought air was free…

Until I bought a bag of chips.