Woman: Do you love me?
Man: Yes, dear.
Woman: Would you die for me?
Man: No... mine is an undying love.
(Dentist) This is going to pinch a little.
(Patient) I love the way you guys substitute words like 'pinch' for 'pain'.
(Dentist) You're right. Hang on to your chair, this is going to hurt like hell.
Why couldn't Biggie Smalls get into the club?
Because it was Tupac'd.
My friend dropped a box of Italian pastries on the floor.
I cannoli imagine what he felt at that moment.