Best Jokes

Knock, knock...

Who’s there?

The electrician...

The electrician who?

The electrician who you called earlier, I understand you’ve been having some problems with your door bell?

A terminally ill man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. ”Give it to me straight, doc, ” he said. ”How long have I got?”

The physician replied that he doubted whether the man would survive the night.

So the man said, ”Fetch me my lawyer.”

When the lawyer arrived, the man asked the physician to stand on one side of the bed while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then closed his eyes. After a few minutes, the physician asked him what he was thinking about.

The man replied, ”Jesus died with a thief on either side. I thought I check out the same way.”

What kinda of egg did the bad chicken lay?

A DEVILED EGG!

Teacher: "You cannot sleep in my class!"

Student: "Well ma'am, I could if you were a little quieter."