Best Jokes

Neighbor: You say your son is only four, and he can spell his name backwards as well as forwards? What is his name?

Proud Father: Otto.

The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new conductor. Their fears were realized at the very first rehearsal.

The cymbalist, realizing that the conductor did not know what he was doing, angrily clashed his instruments together during a delicate, soft passage.

The music stopped. The conductor, highly agitated, looked angrily around the orchestra, demanding, "All right! Who did that? Who did that?"

As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the military base where he was working.

Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone.

She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor.

"Give this to your husband," he said, thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!"

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, and cross the road again?

Because he was a dirty double-crosser!