Best Jokes

The math teacher saw that Daphne wasn't paying attention in class.

She called on her and said, "Daphne! What are 2 and 4, and 28 and 44?"

Daphne quickly replied, "ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

A little boy came home eating a big candy bar. Seeing the candy bar, his mother remembered he had already spent all his allowance money. Surprised, she asked him where he got it.

"I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me," he said.

"But that dollar was for Sunday School," his mother replied.

Smiling, the boy said, "I know, Mom, but the Pastor met me at the door and got me in for free!"

Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn. Until, that is, I married a small town Ohio girl.

While I was in seminary school, I had a temporary assignment at a church in a rural community. The day of my first sermon, I tried very hard to fit in. Maybe too hard.

With my wife sitting in the first pew, I began my discourse, "I never saw a cow until I met my wife."