Best Jokes

I gorged on 14 cans of alphabet soup yesterday.

Ended up having a crippling vowel movement!

I lost three fingers on my right hand, so l asked my doctor if I would still be able to write with it.

The doctor said, "Maybe, but I wouldn't count on it."

I met my wife on Tinder.

That was awkward.

My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.

He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more space. The next day Ray put the cement blocks back down, only to find that the ground was too hard to keep the patio level.

He ordered a truckload of sand to be delivered the following morning. Again he stacked the 100 blocks against the house.

Observing all this, our next-door neighbor asked, "Ray, are you going to put your patio away every night?"