Best Jokes

A man was very excited when he saw the text message on his phone, “Salary credited to your bank account." Jumping for joy, he rushed towards his car to go out shopping. As soon he opened the door of the car, he received another message, “Car loan debited from bank account."

He closed the door of the car and decided to take a taxi. As he halted a taxi, he got another message, “Credit card payment made.” He changed his mind again and started walking towards a local mall. As he entered the mall, he got yet another text, “Please maintain minimum balance in your bank account.”

He turned around and started walking back home.

A husband returned home drunk late night. His wife opened the door. He said, " Sorry honey. I couldn't stop finishing a bottle whose brand name was same as yours!"

The next day the wife served breakfast. The man complained, "Oh honey, there's so much salt in this dish..."

The wife replied, "Sorry honey. I couldn't stop myself adding more salt since the brand name was same as yours."

The 104-year-old building that had served as the priory and primary student residence of the small Catholic university where I work was about to be demolished. As the wrecker’s ball began to strike, I sensed the anxiety and sadness experienced by one of the older monks whose order had founded the college.

"This must be difficult to watch, Father," I said. "The tradition associated with that building, the memories of all the students and monks who lived and worked there. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you."

"It’s worse than that," the monk replied. "I think I left my Palm Pilot in there."