A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.
As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lying here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
At the company water cooler, a man bragged about his children and their world travels. He said,
"One son is teaching in Bolivia, another is working in southern Italy, and my daughter is completing a year-long research project in India."
One of the co-worker's quipped, "Wow... what is it about you that makes your kids want to get so far away?"
I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. “Have you ever heard of a drink called ‘Seven Young Blondes’?” I asked.
He admitted he’d never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he’d be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. “Sir,” I asked the customer, “can you tell me what’s in that drink?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “It’s wine,” he said, pronouncing his words carefully, “Sauvignon blanc.”