Best Jokes

$9.00 won 3 votes

Two circus acrobats got married...

They just FLIPPED over each other!

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "barber7796" |
3 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

Working in an ophthalmology practice that specializes in LASIK surgery, I am expected to comfort nervous patients. But prior to one operation, the patient was so nervous she was actually shaking.

Nothing I said to her would comfort her so after the doctor finished on the first eye and before he began on the second I wanted her to know the surgery was going well.

"There," I said, patting her hand reassuringly, "now you only have one eye left."

3 votes

posted by "Merkv814" |
3 votes

What does consensus mean?

Consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one will say individually.

3 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see your fishin' license!" the Warden gasped.

With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son,” said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes, sir,” replied the young guy. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one."

3 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |