A terminally ill man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. ”Give it to me straight, doc, ” he said. ”How long have I got?”

The physician replied that he doubted whether the man would survive the night.

So the man said, ”Fetch me my lawyer.”

When the lawyer arrived, the man asked the physician to stand on one side of the bed while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then closed his eyes. After a few minutes, the physician asked him what he was thinking about.

The man replied, ”Jesus died with a thief on either side. I thought I check out the same way.”