Best Jokes

"And you say you were in the town where I was born?" she murmured softly.

"Yes," he replied.

"And you thought of me, Bob?" she cooed.

"I did," replied Bob. "I said to myself, 'Why, isn't this where what's-her-name born?'"

What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?

Book-Worms!!!

On a cross country train, one of the passengers told the Pullman porter, "I must get off in Chicago. I'll probably be very sleepy, irritable, and may even object to getting off. Don't mind that. Throw me off the train if necessary."

The train had long since passed Chicago when the passenger woke on his own accord. He stormed down the train looking for the porter. As they almost collided between cars the porter's eyes popped really big and he said, "My goodness! How did you get back on this train?"

My brother took going to jail badly.

He refused food, drinks, he spat on and swore at anybody who came near him, and started throwing things everywhere.

After that we never played Monopoly again.