Best Jokes

Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to school?

He wanted a higher education.

Wife: “You told me so many bad things in your sleep last night!”

Husband: “Who said I was asleep?"

A fly feels a bug on its back.

"Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?" the fly asks.

"I 'might' be," giggles the mite.

"That's the worst pun I've ever heard," groans the fly.

"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly..."

Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late?

Wife #2: Well, every time he would come home I would simply say, 'Mike, is that you?'

Wife #1: But I still don't understand. How did that kept him from staying out?

Wife #2: My husband's name is Andrew...