Two friends met after not seeing each other for a couple of months.
Bill: "Jack, you look like you not doing well?"
Jack (swiping the sweat off his brow): "I ain't been ill. It's the work doing me in. Working from seven in the morning till six at night. Only one hour for a break. Think of it. Very taxing on ones body."
Bill: "Wow, and how long has this been going on? How long you been working for that company?"
Jack: "Oh, I haven't been there yet. I begin tomorrow," he added gloomily.
A horse had won a gallop role in a dozen TV Westerns in a single week. He neighed to a colt in the next stall, "All this churning of the midnight oil is wearing me down. I no longer know if I am coming or going."
"You can't continue this way," agreed the colt. "Why not consult your veterinarian? He'll probably prescribe complete rest."
"Not a chance," sighed the horse wearily. "He's also my agent."
A man was staggering home drunk in the early hours of the morning when he was stopped by a police officer.
“What are you doing out at this time of night?” asked the officer.
“I’m going to a lecture,” said the drunk.
“And who’s going to be giving a lecture at this hour?”