Best Jokes

The insurance agent was having quite an easy time selling Mrs. Cunningham insurance on her husband's life. In fact he thought it was too easy.

When all the details were finalized Mrs. Cunningham casually asked, "Now if my husband should die tomorrow what would I get?"

"That would depend entirely," the insurance man replied, "on how the evidence is presented to the jury."

Drill Sergeant (speaking to new recruit having difficulty): "What was your occupation before enlisting in the army?"

Recruit: "Traveling salesman, sir."

Drill Sergeant: "Stick around, you'll get plenty of orders around here!"

Two friends met after not seeing each other for a couple of months.

Bill: "Jack, you look like you not doing well?"

Jack (swiping the sweat off his brow): "I ain't been ill. It's the work doing me in. Working from seven in the morning till six at night. Only one hour for a break. Think of it. Very taxing on ones body."

Bill: "Wow, and how long has this been going on? How long you been working for that company?"

Jack: "Oh, I haven't been there yet. I begin tomorrow," he added gloomily.

A horse had won a gallop role in a dozen TV Westerns in a single week. He neighed to a colt in the next stall, "All this churning of the midnight oil is wearing me down. I no longer know if I am coming or going."

"You can't continue this way," agreed the colt. "Why not consult your veterinarian? He'll probably prescribe complete rest."

"Not a chance," sighed the horse wearily. "He's also my agent."