Best Jokes

The soldier asked for a furlough so that he might get married. "How long have you known this girl," the sergeant asked.

"A week."

"Why, my lad, that's not long enough. I suggest you wait a couple of months, and then, if you still want to get married I will approve the furlough."

Two months later the soldier was back, reminding the sergeant of his promise.

"So you still want to get married? I didn't think that a young man would stay interested in the same girl for a couple of months."

"I know, sir. But this isn't the same girl."

The arithmetic teacher proposed the following to the class, "If there are three crows on a fence and one is shot, how many would be left?"

After a short time, Little Johnny shouts out, "Two left."

The teachers response, "I'm afraid you don't get the point. Let me repeat the joke. There were three crows on a fence and one is shot, how many would be left?

Johnny replied again, "Two left."

Teacher, "No, none would be left, because when one is shot, the other two would fly away."

Johnny, "That's what I said, TWO LEFT!!!"

The quarrel had reached a new height when the wife said to her spouse, "I wish I'd taken my mother's advice and never married you."

Hubby swung around, "Do you mean to tell me that your mother tried to stop you from marrying me?"

Wife nodded in the affirmative.

"Good heavens," cried the husband, his voice filled with remorse. "How I've wronged that woman."

Where do you take some one who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

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