Best Jokes

A careful shopper in the fish market asked as to the freshness of the fish she was considering.

"Fresh? Why this fish took its last breath just as you entered the market," replied the manager.

The shopper, who had done business here before indicated, "And what a breath it has."

When I worked in the post office, a lady barged in and started complaining that she’d got home to find a note from the postman – he’d tried to deliver a package but nobody was in.

“My husband was home all day!” she fumed.

After I gave her the package, she said, “Oh, I’m so excited – it’s my husband’s new hearing aid!”

The captain of the ship called out, "Who is below?"

A boy answered, "Wayne, sir."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, sir."

"Is Tom there?"

"Yes," said Tom.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping Wayne, sir."

Mr. Smith who was out of work met Mr. Jones at the local coffee shop.

Mr. Jones: "I heard you were offered a job and turned it down?"

Mr. Smith: "Yes, it was to be the President/CEO of a new communications company. I turned it down as there was no room for advancement."