Best Jokes

A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married.

He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 girls and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”

She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”

“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”

The mother replies, “I don’t like her."

I’m the best man at my buddy’s second wedding.

Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with, “Welcome back everyone!”?

Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?

Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.

At the monthly meeting of the local group of struggling artists, two of them were discussing their respective prospects.

First artist: "I'm not doing too well. I painted a picture for a local lady but she didn't like it. She said it made her look just like a monkey."

Second artist: "I hope you were diplomatic about it?"

First artist: "Yes, I told her she should have thought about that before she had her picture painted."