Best Jokes

When I worked in the post office, a lady barged in and started complaining that she’d got home to find a note from the postman – he’d tried to deliver a package but nobody was in.

“My husband was home all day!” she fumed.

After I gave her the package, she said, “Oh, I’m so excited – it’s my husband’s new hearing aid!”

The captain of the ship called out, "Who is below?"

A boy answered, "Wayne, sir."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, sir."

"Is Tom there?"

"Yes," said Tom.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping Wayne, sir."

Mr. Smith who was out of work met Mr. Jones at the local coffee shop.

Mr. Jones: "I heard you were offered a job and turned it down?"

Mr. Smith: "Yes, it was to be the President/CEO of a new communications company. I turned it down as there was no room for advancement."

The son has finally saved enough money to buy his own house. It is just a few houses down the road from where his parents still live.

On the day he moves in he invites some friends over, turns On the music and drinking a few beers. As the son was making his toast and said, "I don't have to listen to my parents anymore", the phone rings. He goes inside to answer and is silent when he rejoins the party.

"Who was that?" ask one of the guests.

"Well," replied the son. "It was my father telling me to turn down the music as there are people in the neighborhood that are trying to sleep."