Best Jokes

Mr. Smith who was out of work met Mr. Jones at the local coffee shop.

Mr. Jones: "I heard you were offered a job and turned it down?"

Mr. Smith: "Yes, it was to be the President/CEO of a new communications company. I turned it down as there was no room for advancement."

The son has finally saved enough money to buy his own house. It is just a few houses down the road from where his parents still live.

On the day he moves in he invites some friends over, turns On the music and drinking a few beers. As the son was making his toast and said, "I don't have to listen to my parents anymore", the phone rings. He goes inside to answer and is silent when he rejoins the party.

"Who was that?" ask one of the guests.

"Well," replied the son. "It was my father telling me to turn down the music as there are people in the neighborhood that are trying to sleep."

During a recent session of family court the wife was asked, "Why did you throw the pot of geraniums at your husband?"

"Because of the advertising, your honor."

"What advertising?"

"Say it with flowers."

A man goes swimming in the ocean but gets sucked out to sea. A boat passes by him and tells him to climb aboard but he says, "I have faith, God will save me."

The Coast Guard comes by with a rescue helicopter and tells him to climb the ladder up, but he says, "I have faith, God will save me."

The man is now getting tired but thankfully a dolphin swims under him and starts to carry him to shore, but the man pushes the dolphin away saying, "I have faith, God will save me."

The man dies and goes to Heaven. He asks God, "Why didn't you save me?"

God replies, "I tried! I sent a ship, a helicopter and a dolphin!"