Best Jokes

Just helped my neighbor throw a rolled up carpet in the dumpster...

Her boyfriend would have helped but he is out of town.

You said everything would be back to normal after June!

Ju-Lyed!

A careful shopper in the fish market asked as to the freshness of the fish she was considering.

"Fresh? Why this fish took its last breath just as you entered the market," replied the manager.

The shopper, who had done business here before indicated, "And what a breath it has."

When I worked in the post office, a lady barged in and started complaining that she’d got home to find a note from the postman – he’d tried to deliver a package but nobody was in.

“My husband was home all day!” she fumed.

After I gave her the package, she said, “Oh, I’m so excited – it’s my husband’s new hearing aid!”